Top Chef: "It needed textural integration."

Wait, what? There's a game today?

We're so glad the Quickfire challenge gave Padma even more chances to use annoying cliche catchphrases.  "Hail to the chef" just wasn't enough for us.

Quote book

• Padma, to Kelly at the start of the Quickfire: "Hopefully you won't have to have sour grapes."  Yes, Padma, hopefully she won't lose miserably and then be bitter about it.
• Angelo, after not being in the top for the Quickfire: "That's really great Ed won.  I could just see his face on the packaging.  You know, because his face kind of looks like a potato."  Hmm.  See above.
• One of the Nationals, about Ed's risotto balls: "It's like a chewed up caterpillar ... exploding in my mouth."  Dude, if there is really a caterpillar out there that can explode after it's already been chewed, that's got to be somehow useful to Homeland Security or some crap.  Quick!  Someone write Leon Panetta a note about it!

People are annoying.

• HOW HARD IS IT TO EAT MEAT OFF OF A STICK?  Newsflash, Eric Ripert/half of the Washington metro area: slide the damn meat a little farther down the skewer.  Or, you could just continue to STAB YOURSELF IN THE UVULA WITH IT.  Either way.  Your call.
• Shouldn't these ballplayers be eating like, Power Bars or something?  Corn fritters and raw tuna are the new ... regular food people would eat before engaging in a sporting event.
• Rick Moonen: "Kelly treated the crab with a good deal of respect."  Except for the part about frying its dead flesh for consumption by the stupid throat-skewering masses.

 In conclusion, to quote one of the random Nationals fans: "I need some beer."

[photo: Bravo]