Top Chef: "This is where major shit goes down."

 Box purchased at the same store bank robbers get 

those big bags with the dollar signs on them

We have just four words for you to start out this recap, kids: "Alex. Quickfire. Equals. Bottom."


Wedding Bells

• We suspected the producers might be influencing the outcome of challenges when they announced next week's quickfire prize would be a big white dress and dinner for 150.
• Angelo noted his "fiancee" lived in Russia and he needed the $10,000 to get her here.  Right, if by fiancee, he means "mail order bride."

Amanda ... seriously?

• "That was the most nighmarish mystery box challenge ... EVER!"  As opposed to all the other mystery box challenges you've done in your life, which each went swimmingly.
• "I could seduce some secrets out of the KGB."  Is us hating Russians ... still a thing?  Pretty sure that's over.
• "Helen Keller could guess what my dish was."  Because there's nothing like being deaf and blind to keep someone from tasting french onion soup.

Things we think may have been in that note to Leon Panetta:

• secrets of how Wylie Dufresne looks so youthful, despite having come of age in Civil War times
• this
• proof Alex stole the pea puree

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 [photo: Bravo]