Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Top Chef: F this show

L-R: Dana Cowin, Fabrizio Moretti

We're seriously about to stop watching this crap.  Tiffany: we heart you.

Angelo's Love Life
  • Angelo was divorced last year. But, "her family was all about saving face, they wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer."  What?  No seriously ... What?  Side note: he just got divorced last year but he already has a mail order bride lined up? 
  • "I tingle when I think about [Singapore]."  Sounds like crabs isn't the only venerial disease Angelo's got.
  • "I felt like I made love to [the short ribs]. I constantly heated them up, I glazed them, then when I thought they were glazed enough, I re-glazed them."  Ah, every girl's sexual fantasy: re-glazing.  Anthony Bourdain, rightly, called him on this, saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about."  But a couple minutes later, we think we heard Bourdain say "I'm a slut for fish sauce," so ... maybe not the best judgment, there.
Miscellany
  • Ed noted, "I happen to be friends with [Dana Cowin] on Facebook for some reason, even though she doesn't know who the hell I am."  You mean you're not actually friends with all your Facebook friends?  Weird.  Never heard of that.
  • When Dana was talking about wine pairings, we thought she said "90% of parents are awful."  That's a whole different show, there. 
  • Remember freeze dried ice cream? Did anyone else have that?
  • Dana disapproved of Kevin's pairing, leading him to complain that if the editor of Food and Wine doesn't like your pairing, "it doesn't get much worse than that."  Yes, Kevin: there is no worse fate than someone thinking quail doesn't go with merlot. 
Tune in tomorrow morning for our Power Rankings.  Not that they mean anything anymore.  (If we were this type of person, here is where we would say something obnoxious like *frowns.*  Luckily we're not.)

[photo: Bravo]

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at 11:06 PM
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8 comments:

  1. They still make freeze-dried "astronaut" ice cream, you can get it at ThinkGeek.com, among other places. I've had it; it's better than you would expect, but of course not nearly as good as un-freeze-dried ice cream. :)
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  2. Love freeze-dried ice cream, have two kinds in my kitchen at the moment. :)

    I'm personally a little disappointed that Top Chef doesn't actually make the cheftestants do the full challenge anymore. Their dish was supposed to be able to be freeze-dried for consumption in space. Not only did nobody have to freeze-dry their food for the challenge, which I think they should have, but nobody had to prepare the food in a way that would work in one of the foil pouches. Who can stick a big cube of shortrib or a lamb chop on the bone into a foil pouch and suck it through a hole?

    Before you say this is unreasonable, think of some of the challenges of past seasons. What about the Bertolli frozen pasta dinner challenge... where they had to not only create a pasta dish, but IQF (Individually Quick Frozen) it, package it, and then cook it in a pan on a hotplate in the grocery store and serve it/sell it to shoppers? Or even in Masters where they had to create a meal, box it up, and then reheat it in microwaves? I see no reason they shouldn't have had to freeze-dry their food, if not personally, then bring in people to freeze dry it for them to see how well it reconstitutes. I'd like to see Tiffany pull off freeze dried halibut, heh.

    Oh, and Tom sassing an astronaut? ("I think if NASA can put a man on the moon, they can figure out how to freeze-dry this." [in response to an astronaut saying it would be difficult to freeze-dry the amount of liquid in one of the dishes]) Why bring on experts like astronauts if you're just going to give them the middle finger when they give their expert opinion? You may be Mr. Sandwich, but you don't work for NASA. Zip it.

    You know... I love Top Chef, but this season so far has been a disappointment. I've not been surprised with any of the people they've sent home so far, and you know why? Because not one single chef on this season is consistent. Look at the 5 in this week's episode... I believe every one of them has been in the bottom on past challenges, and been up for elimination. It's impossible to guess who might win or be sent home each episode when one week a chef pulls off a stunningly perfect dish, and the next week they overcook their protein, make doughy gnocchi, use store-bought frozen puff pastry, or oversalt their dish.

    Any one of the final 6 cheftestants of Top Chef Season 6 could have crushed any one of season 7's cheftestants without even trying.
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  3. I agree with the above poster- they should have had to freeze dry it and if they didn't have the capabilities to do that then they should have had to put it in a pouch or something. Hopefully when they go to freeze Angelo's it doesn't work!

    Season 7 has been a bit of a disappointment as far as contestants go (see below for the exception). If Bravo were to put 6 & 7 head to head there is no doubt my money will be going on 6.

    ----------------------
    And now on the tragedy of losing Tiffany.

    I got really excited yesterday when my school sent out a mass text telling us to watch Tiffany on Top Chef because she was an alumni of our school (so was Kevin Gillespie!). I was beaming with pride! From the start of the episode, I could tell she was having an off day- like Kevin and Kelly all season!! Tiffany deserved to be safe. Now Angelo doesn't have any competition and will sweep it to the end. And if he wins...well lets just say I'll be yelling as angry as when Hosea won season 5!
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  4. The best part of this season was last night's Kevin Gillespie Kikoman commercial.
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  5. Last night was the saddest elimination ever. It's a shame that between Angelo and Tiffany the margin was so tiny. Any other week Tiffany would have been on the top! I guess the only consolation for her is that the other chef-testants had to cook the meal of their lives to beat her.

    As for who's gonna beat Angelo now that he's got his game back: My money is on Ed. He usually has a good deal going on, but only once was he on the bottom of an elimination challenge individually (and when he was, he was obviously not going home). His techniques are never flawed, so you know that, whatever he cooks, he'll at least cook it well. Ed had the second best dish last night, in my opinion. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if anyone wins the whole thing.

    Also, one of the tags says Kevin "Gilbert", which is Kenny's last name. Kevin last name is Sbraga. Just thought I'd help :) This blog is incredible!
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  6. Still in shock. So disappointed Tiffany was eliminated.
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  7. Heather, we completely agree. We thought this challenge would be so cool ... and then it just turned out to be another "cook whatever you want" situation. Literally the only parameters were: 1) don't make big chunks of stuff and 2) don't make it too sweet. Pretty much everyone ignored #1, and Angelo ignored both!
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  8. Actually, I know that Angelo's ex wife divorced him because he cheated on her ... multiple times... and when their son was just born. Love how he blames it on her 'family' on national TV. He's a scum.
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